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How Will You Celebrate?
This weekend we celebrate Father’s Day which is not always easy for many people. If you are looking at ways to improve your relationship with your father and communicate more effectively or perhaps understand the reasons behind events that have happened in the past, there is a technique called NLP that can be of great value. Neuro-linguistic programming (or NLP) is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy created in the 1970s. The title refers to a stated connection between the neurological processes (“neuro”), language (“linguistic”), and behavioral patterns that have been learned through experience (“programming”) and can be organized to achieve specific goals in life.
Relationships are complex. The emotions that surround them often cloud the reality of the actual event that happened. By comprehending different perspectives, especially your Father’s, you will be able to see things differently. This will enable you to review the impact that your behavior has made upon the event/s and allow you to start healing the wounds that were created. NLP enables you to look at the relationship with your father, whether he is alive or has passed.
Best-selling author of Psychobabble: A straight forward, plain English guide to the benefits of NLP, Donna Blinston, is a Registered Nurse, with a specialty in gastroenterology, the Liver and in blood bourne viruses. As a Certified Trainer of NLP she uses the tools and techniques of NLP to build a professional relationship with and enhance the lives of her patients to promote good health and wellbeing. Donna also has incorporated her training to help people in the areas of leadership, self-help, practice development and life coaching.
Tune in to this segment of The Organic View Radio Show, as host, June Stoyer is joined by special guest, Donna Blinston! Click here to listen to Donna discuss NLP techniques which can help you to repair your relationship. Stay tuned!
Common Relationship Issues
Example 1- When a parent cheats.
Tony is 36 years old. He is happily married with two beautiful children, he owns his own construction company and lives a very comfortable life. Some people might say he had the perfect life but Tony knows that this is far from true. He has multiple internal conflicts due to the relationship between he and his father, that stem back to events from his childhood. Although Tony was never treated badly by his father, his parents were unhappily married. Tony’s father was unfaithful to his Mother which lead to a divorce. As a child this really hit Tony hard. He was only 14 years old and although he had a lot of friends, when the divorce happened, it really turned his world upside down. He no longer felt like he fit in nor had a sense of belonging.
Tony lost all respect for his father. He hated him for what he had done to his Mother who was devastated. Time passed and life returned to a new level of normal which included visiting his father two evenings a week and every other weekend. Tony knew that his Father loved him dearly and although he continued to provide for him and his sister, Tony could not forgive him. He saw his father as a cheat and knew that the only reason they split was because his Mother caught them together. Tony resented his father’s partner and to this day does not trust his father. Tony is a father himself and would never do anything to risk his family breaking up. He knows that relationships are hard and if they had split up due to it not working, he would have been able to accept it. The cheating is what has caused Tony to have no respect for his Father.
Example 2- The child of an alcoholic.
Tracy is 40 years old. She is the CEO of a healthcare organization. Father’s day is looming and despite her love for her father she is always grieved, when she reads the words of the father’s day cards, because none of them relate to her father. Her father was an alcoholic and despite all of the support he would always return to the bottle, rather than his family. Tracy, as a child took this personally and although she now knows that it was an addiction, she blames him for the family breaking up and for all of her relationship problems. Her father stopped drinking five years ago and has started a new life for himself. While she is really happy for him, she still harbors resentment for not doing this when she was younger.
Example 3 -Work always comes first.
Graham is 25 years old. He has been working as a Physical Education teacher for the last three years and fully understands how an unstructured and unbalanced life can negatively impact a child. Many of his students do not have parents that get deeply involved with their life. Often, they have another family member or are left to fend for themselves when in need of discipline and structure. This reality is something Graham can relate to. Graham and his father don’t have a bad relationship but they are not close either. While he respects his father’s vision and success as an entrepreneur, he also does not have any particular fond memories of his childhood with his Father because of the long hours his father worked to provide for the things in life that his family had.
Deep down inside Graham always wished his Father would quit his job and spend more time with him. Graham’s has an amazing relationship with his Mother. They were always very close. As Graham grew older he became the man she relied upon because her husband was never around and when he was he was, was always too tired to do anything. His father tried to attend events but often was unable to attend because of work. Graham resents his father’s absence in his life and has promised himself that he will never put his work or anyone else before his children.
If you would like to learn more about NLP, Donna is conducting a series of online workshops that will focus on the following areas:
- fears & phobias
To enroll in her workshops, please visit Summer Creative Coaching Strategies by clicking this link.